Did you know that children are not always naturals at certain things? It’s true! We expect our children to be naturals at being kind, sharing, being tidy…etc, but in truth they are self serving. Its not a natural thing for our children to have all of the right tools that will guide them into being “good human beings”.
I love my kids to the moon and back! It is true that I think the world of my children! They are amazing kiddos and make me very proud of them on a daily basis. BUT there are also times that I find myself with my mouth agape trying to find words on how to discipline what I just heard or saw my children say or do. Because in reality…they probably just mimicked something that I have illustrated in times past.
Am I alone in this? Our children’s actions and words seem to mirror the people they hang out with the most. My children are with us all the time! so I can easily recognize changes in their behavior or attitude. I often find myself pondering if something I did or said could have caused it.
Long ago, God placed a conviction on my heart to be the change for my children. Instead of harping on them to become a better version of me or to quote them the old phrase “Do as I say, not as I do.” I came to the conviction that it was time to clean up my own heart and actions. Trying to be a better example for them to follow, as I follow God. Am I perfect in this? No! Absolutely NOT! I am a work in progress!
There are often times I mess up and have to go to my children and apologize for my attitude or actions. This is an important lesson for them to learn as well! When my daughter was younger she would tell me that I did everything so perfectly. In her little mind, mommy was a perfect example because I did almost everything so much better than she. It discouraged her and made her feel unqualified as a small human. I had to remind her that I mess up too. My awareness became of how much she needed to see my “messes and mess ups” became a motivation to allow her to see that I am a work in progress as well!
I’ve learned that if I request my children to do something, I need to become an example for them by fulfilling my side of the request as well. For example, if I ask them to clean their rooms… but my room is a shambles… I better make an effort to clean my room. In doing so, I am trying to set a positive example for them to follow. I don’t know about you, but I find it really hard to follow or have faith in someone that expects one thing out of you but sets an entirely different example.
Want your kids to read more? Pick up a book! Sick of hearing all of their grumbling and complaining? Wish your kids would spend more time outside? I think you know the answers to these questions! Be the change you wish to see in your kids by setting an example for them to follow.
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6